Monday, June 23, 2008

PLOD WILLS IT!

the Badger Priests are raiding a drinking establishment....
'OK everyone, put your drinks down and your hands on your head. This is a raid.'
The regulars sigh in acquiescence. Penance not punishment is the motto of the Badger Priests, children all, trained in the Warrens.
None over the age of 13. They wear the pelts of badgers over their heads and white tunics to signify purity, tied round the waist with gold braid.
They have no legal powers as such, only religious authority, but here religious authority counts for a lot. Those who scorn it find themselves overlooked for promotions, shunned by their neighbours, unable to receive credit, life, in short, is made difficult for apostates. So the drinkers set down their glasses and try their best to look repentant.
"Scourge myself little brother? Yes little brother, yes, Plod wills it little brother, I quite agree...."

Escape the tentacles of Plod.
Green and slimy
Slathering limbs.

Penance not Punishment.

"Mr Quince sir, the Aborigines of Australia have been complaining about conditions in the Safari Park. They say they have never had to hunt lions before. They object. They say it is dangerous and that many of their young men have been seriously maimed and even killed by the lions. Do you feel responsible for these accidents Mr Quince? DO you not think it would be more appropriate to have them hunting wallabies or something more traditional Mr Quince sir?"

"Look we've made this quite clear. Autonomy comes at a price. The public won't pay to see those boys club defenceless marsupials to death. We are protecting their ancient and noble culture. But they have to meet us halfway. the public wants to see man against lion. Man against crocodile. Man against bear. Not man against Skippy the bloody kangaroo. End of Story."

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